I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My vagina is very pro this idea
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
