this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize