we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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