Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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