Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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