Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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