So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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