No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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