Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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