woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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