why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
