i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
