Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
