hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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