I love black thongs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
PANTIES FOUND
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