She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize