My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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