Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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