how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
