This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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