I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
