Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
