Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize