I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
