I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize