Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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