Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
