He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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