nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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