Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
