Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
