Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
