would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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