I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
