I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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