so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
