You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
