dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
