I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
