i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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