beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
