remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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