dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
