I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
