we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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