After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
