I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
