How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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