Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
