I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
