I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
