Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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