And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
