party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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