I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
