Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize