uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize