Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
