Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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