im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
