69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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