You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize