I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
