i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
