Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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