Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
